About Me

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The purpose of this blog is to process. To go through events chronologically...or not, reflection of paths taken... or not taken. To put in writing: thoughts, feelings and daily doings. It a cyber estuary

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Nothing Personal

To Trust, or Not to Trust? Don't you hate rhetoric questions? By nature, I 'd say: I'm a very trusting person. By experience, I say: No.

I've had people tell me that I'm the best friend they ever had. My first response is: to say something really sarcastic. I feel like I have a deeper connection with animals than I do with people. With animals the more authentic you are, the more relaxed they become. People are the opposite. I'm not socially graceful either, small talk and me go together like the Gulf Coast and BP; it's a bad combination for everyone involved. I usually end up playing the part of the listener which probably gives of the impression that I'm more interested than I am. In part, most of the time I just feel misunderstood and want to retreat into my own world of thought.

I have been in trusted with business, homes, cars, gardens, children, and pets. Sometimes, I feel, I'm too reliable and am being owed. I suppose in the realm of my growing up there were neglect issues so when put in a responsible position, I can be extremely attentive. On the down side, I will take feedback as criticism or judgement so interacting with me can turn into a power struggle. The art of objectivity maybe a creative process, however, I have a tendency to become overwhelmed when it comes to defending myself from threat real or perceived.






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